All About Being an LDS GrandParent and Staying Connected to Your Grandchildren… Eternally!

As LDS GrandParents, we know that the type of relationship that we have with our grandchildren is important, and for a multitude of reasons.  I want to share with you, some positive results of a study that focuses on our social relationships, and how they affect us.

A recent study of 5,000 adults,  is suggesting that a person’s health and well-being, is dependent upon the happiness of those around them.  Does this really surprise you?  Probably not.  But, it is a good reminder to help us remember just how much our lives impact those who we are most closely associated with.

The research went on to say that, “A friend who becomes happy and lives less than a mile away increases your likelihood of happiness by 25%, the British Medical Journal reports.” Certainly, we consider our family, our friends – don’t we?

You can read more about this study,  “Happiness Rubs Off On Others”.

“Most important from our perspective is the recognition that people are embedded in social networks and that the health and well-being of one person affects the health and wellbeing of others.”

This fact, is what I want to emphasize today.  Above all other types of relationships, those that arise from the family have the most potential for having the deepest impact in our lives.  If we apply the findings from this research – we can be assured that as we strive to stay connected with our grandchildren, not only will we be a blessing in their lives, but our own health and well-being will be enhanced. 

Now, you might be thinking that because you don’t live around the corner from your grandchildren, this won’t apply.  Well, I don’t believe that.  Today, we have technology that literally enables us to be in touch with those we love – with incredible ease.  And this, has nothing to do with proximity.

Many grandparents today, feel as though technology has passed them by.  I’m here to assure you, that if you still have a desire to learn –  there are some very easy things that you can do, to stay connected with your grandchildren; using these modern technologies.  The Internet is a wonderful tool for connecting with your grandchildren – in seconds.  Come on, if your grandchildren can learn how to use these things – so can you.  Remember, this is fun!

One of our goals that we are committed to, here on The LDS GrandParent Place, is helping grandparents to stay connected to their grandchildren, eternally.  Eternity begins right now! In some of our upcoming posts, we plan on sharing with you, resources where you can learn these simple Internet technologies; to connect with your grandchildren.

Grandparents need their grandchildren, as much as grandchildren need their grandparents.  We all benefit from putting forth our best efforts to stay closely connected.  We can do this quite effectively, whether we live around the block, or across the country!

tDMg

LdsNana

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“Grandparents can strengthen and inspire their grandchildren as they share their experiences, testimony, and faith. Their true stories of obedience, learning from mistakes, making sacrifices to reach eternal goals, and cheerfully facing problems can help children as they face similar experiences.  In addition to talking with their grandchildren, grandparents can record their testimonies and experiences in journals, which can uplift and teach family members now and in future generations.“  ~Teaching, No Greater Call

I happen to love quotes about grandparents and grandparenting; they really inspire me.   In fact, just recently – I took the time to post my favorite grandparent quotes over on Hubpages, where I publish about Mormonism, and other general topics.

I collected, what I believe, to be The 50 Best Quotes About Grandparenting.  This collection of grandparent quotes, is applicable to all grandparents.  However, I have a goal to create a new collection of grandparenting quotes, that are specifically dedicated to the LDS GrandParent.

As I have discussed before, the LDS GrandParent has a unique roll in their grandchildren’s lives.  Ours, is a relationship of covenant – and because of this knowledge, we have an even greater responsibility to understand this role.

When I originally set out to find quotes about grandparents, my intention was to find everything that I could – about LDS grandparenting.  To my disappointment, I found this very difficult; and I am pretty darn good at researching.  I feel confident, that as time passes, and in the very near future – that we will hear more counsel from our leaders, directed toward the covenant role of the  LDS GrandParent.  I just feel it!

Now, I know that there are a few general authorities, and prophets who have made reference to a grandparent, but the actual role of the LDS GrandParent, has not really been discussed at much length.  Although this may seem strange, I believe it is because the focus is usually directed to counseling parents.  But you and I both know ,and understand – that the LDS GrandParent – is just a generation away; and is now a more “glorified” Parent.  So, much of what is discussed about LDS parenting – could also apply to grandparents.

However – today, there is an explosion of LDS GrandParents in the Church; and there is no doubt, that we have a very specific mission to fulfill in these last days.

Will you help me gather these LDS GrandParent quotes as they happen, and you become aware of them?  I hope that you will – because I am confident that they will come.  Whether this counsel, advice, etc… comes through LDS leaders, or those who write and speak about the LDS GrandParent - it will be a joy to collect them…

In fact, I was surprised that another website about being a grandparent, Grandparent TLC actually quoted “me”!  Make sure and visit the Packers – they are terrific grandparents; who just happen to be LDS.  They are also great teachers of using simple online technology, to connect with your grandchildren.

“For a beloved grandchild, a grandparent is a very important person – to be treasured and valued above most all other relationships. A righteous grandparent, who lives their lives to inspire and enrich the lives of their grandchildren, is worth untold – to those who cherish and love them dearly”. ~Kathryn Skaggs

Now, here is something else that I wrote, directed specifically to the LDS GrandParent – that felt inspired…

“Truly – being an LDS grandparent is the closest anyone of us will ever come, at least here and now – to enjoying the kind of perspective and relationship – that our wise Heavenly Father has with each one of His own children.” ~Kathryn Skaggs

Not too bad, eh?

Please feel free to leave in the comments section, here – any quotes about LDS grandparenting, that you are, or become aware of…  Ultimately, I will provide a section here on The LDS GrandParent Place – for a wonderful collection of quotes about the LDS GrandParent.

tDMg

LdsNana

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It is the cliche’ answer, to respond by saying - “that it is far better to give than it is to receive”.  However, as a parent soon finds out, and eventually brings to their expertise as a grandparent – we all must learn our lessons, in different ways…

Now- consider this, won’t you? From what or where do we give so freely, if we first have not received from another ourselves? Is this to suggest selfishness? As in, me first? I don’t believe that this is so…

A parent, or a grandparent –  is a nurturer. In the beautiful cycle of life, of which we all have benefited to varying degrees — we each were first nurtured, and most likely it was by our own parent, or parents; and hopefully our grandparents. It is according to how well this was received, that for us today – WE are then able to give. So then, what is a parent – if not first, a student.

As a young LDS mother - I felt that it was my complete responsibility to teach, and love my children to the best of my ability. I was even so innocently arrogant, as to think that the better mommy I was – the better people my children would grow up to be.  Now please – do not misunderstand.

But, even more than this… I actually had it in my pristine young-mother’s head, that if I taught them well enough – I could actually help them to avoid any of the pain that I had experience during my own childhood, and upbringing. I know. Crazy huh? But I had learned so much, and if they could understand what I now knew, they could dodge much pain. Especially the teenage years. I had that down really well!

Guess what? I failed, or at least I had thought so… for a little while, anyway.

No matter how hard I tried as a parent, my children did not always readily take my advice. Really. No matter how I tried to coerce them into doing so…. they would just not listen! They had the actual audacity to want to find things out for themselves — and often times, the hard way!

I’ve raised five children. You can only imagine how exhausted I became at times, can’t you? There is no handbook on parenting. We all know this, don’t we? So after some trial and a lot of error – I finally began to “get it”.  I was receiving parenting lessons, through experiencing the agency of my own children.  Who would have thought?

Ah, sweet relief…

I finally came to understand, that as a parent, and now even more important, as an LDS GrandParent – the most important part of nurturing –  is to gently “guide” the teaching, and training of our children and grandchildren. Parents and grandparents, are there to help children learn that they should, and can – make good decision based upon the knowledge or information – which comes to them from loving “teachers” — be they a parent, grandparent – or another caring individual.

The principle of allowing our children, and grandchildren to experience consequences – is a powerful parenting and LDS GrandParenting tool. Giving or allowing – your child to experience the results of their own choices, is to allow them to “receive” the most important lessons in life; their own.

What an LDS GrandParent truly owns in knowledge, is that which they will teach or give to their grandchildren – with the greatest impact and power.

Freely teaching, or giving/sharing knowledge to another, is the evidence that we have received this ourselves - from another “teacher” at sometime in our own lives.

Personally, I have found that my best years of receiving, were during the times of raising my own children. These lessons learned, are now that which I so very much enjoy giving – but with greater compassion, and wisdom than “I” – ever would have thought.

I am so grateful that I learned from others first, who were ever so much – in a better position to teach me, that which I could then, teach others…

The LDS GrandParent is in what I believe, one of the most powerful teaching positions, of their life.  As we gently lead, guide, teach and counsel our grandchildren – we are able to offer them, the best of what our life’s lessons have to give… And this, is truly a blessed grandchild!

tDMg

LdsNana

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Extended time spent with Grandchildren - can be some of our best Grandparenting time...

Believe it or not, as I have been considering the best ways to build relationships with my own grandchildren – I had this very epiphany!  “Grandparents Should Be More Than JUST Dinner Guest”…  darn it! IF we really want to have an impact in our grandchildren’s lives, we need to be around for many different reasons; and then STAY awhile…

And of course, as my own mother has always reminded me – “the street runs both ways”.  So… grandchildren should be more than dinner guest, also.  As an LDS GrandParent, we need to find ways to be involved in each others lives; and one important way to do this, is to spend more time together – in our homes.

As I consider the time that I have had to be in the homes of my grandchildren – I have realized that this is when I have had the best opportunities to not only get to know them better, but to teach them as well.

You really are not as effective as a grandparent – if you just show up for dinner, and then head back home.  As families, we need to spend the kind of time together, and be involved with the parts of our grandchildren’s lives – that are part of what families do.  Like -food preparation, helping with bedtime, clean-up, homework, playtime, FHE, prayer, bath time, etc…

For LDS GrandParents who have grandchildren in their teens, can you imagine what it would be like, for them – to have YOU waiting up for them, upon returning from a date!  LOL  Doesn’t that sound fun?  But even more than the fun — just think of the wonderful conversations that await such a special time together?

Although most of my own grandchildren are currently living out of state – I have found such joy in traveling to their homes, and hanging out for a week or two.  Even though I miss these grandchildren terribly, I feel as though I know them well.  In turn, when they come and descend on Nana’s house — again, we have that comfortable hang out time, that we ALL really enjoy.

In contrast, I am finding that I need to make extra effort to spend more time with my few grandchildren that DO actually live only an hour from my home.  Although I may see them more frequently – I am finding that the time spent together is brief in comparison.

So, that brings me to the realization that I need to plan specific time to just BE, (longer periods of time) with those grandchildren who live close by.  That means in the home — for more than just a day…

I’d love to hear some of the ways that other grandparents find ways to be in the homes of their grandchildren, for more extended visits.  Especially those who live fairly close to you.

As LDS GrandParents, lets make sure that we are MORE than just dinner guest in the homes of our grandchildren.  After all – we demand much more than quality food – above all, we want quality time with our grandchildren!

tDMg

LdsNana

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As LDS GrandParents, we have a great desire to stay connected to our grandchildren.  Our reasons, go much further than just knowing that our grandchildren are doing well in their everyday lives.  Although, knowing that a grandparent cares about the welfare of a grandchild, is very important.  However, the LDS GrandParent, understands that an on-going and positive connection with a grandchild, will ensure a close relationship, which builds faith and trust.

In a previous post, we talked about the importance of “Telling Your Grandchildren That You Love Them”, and why this is so critical.  The ability to influence and help direct a grandchild’s life, in righteous ways, helps the LDS GrandParent to fulfill their role, as a GrandParent.

Currently, my own grandchildren are still fairly young.  Many of you have grandchildren, who themselves – are parents now!  Yes, some of you have been around for quite a while.  LOL

Regardless, the LDS GrandParent, at any age, can maintain an ongoing relationship with their grandchildren; where gospel principles can be the focus of each and every encounter that we have with our grandchildren.

Now, I know what you might be thinking?  You just want to play or hang out with your grandkids, religion aside.  Right?  I’m not suggesting that you need to preach to your grandchildren every time you are with them, etc…  What I am suggesting, is that as an LDS GrandParent, our grandchildren need to see that being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints, is Who we ARE!

This can be done, is such simple ways.  I always love visiting my husband’s mother; my own children’s grandmother.  This LDS GrandParent, is always an example of living gospel principles in her life.  I am so grateful for her ongoing example of a righteous and faithful life.

For instance, this grandmother – is a wonderful example of provident living, to her entire family.  Recently, we spent some time with grandma, and she shared with us that her apple trees were now producing an abundance of the “best little apples”!  She had busied herself by making  Apple Crisp, Apple Sauce, Apple Pie and even drying these apples.   She shared these wonderful “creations” with her entire family.  There is no doubt, that Grandma Skaggs – follows the teaching of Living Prophets, in her everyday life.

As our grandchildren are taught gospel principles – we as LDS GrandParents are able to BE examples of these teachings, in our own lives.  Our grandchildren should see and hear, the principles of the Gospel in our everyday lives, and our frequent communications with them.

Regardless of how old we get, we must always….  Remember Who We Are, so that our grandchildren will Know!

tDMg

LdsNana

Living Gospel Principles in Our Everyday Lives...

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It has almost been a week, since my return from Texas to visit my grandchildren.  I already miss them… their sweet faces, big hugs, and endless giggles.  Going back and forth from that world, to my own – is like night and day!  I had such a lovely time, as I observed each one of my grandchildren, and how they are growing in so many ways.

As an LDS GrandParent, I feel almost an urgency to see my grandchildren as frequently as possible.  I have kind of an unwritten little guideline, that I use for making sure that this grandma, gets in plenty of visits with her grandchildren.  I refer to it as the “more than three months is too long” rule.  Papa is quite well aware of my scheduling the grandkids philosophy.  Somehow -some way, I have been quite good at manipulating visits with all of my grandchildren, using this “rule”, – so far.  Let me share a few of my reasons for being such a manipulative grandparent…

Reasons to Have Frequent Visits with Grandchildren:

1. I’m just selfish.  I love those little people so much, that I simply cannot stand – to not see them growing, and know for myself who they are becoming.  Our grandchildren, particularly when they are small, change almost daily.
2. I want them to know Nana.  I want them to know, the silly lady who talks to them on the phone.  I want my grandchildren to know that I love them!  I want my grandchildren to know, that they are a priority in their grandmother’s life.  I want to be able to tell them face-to-face, that they are the most important little people, to me, in the whole wide world!
3. I have so much to tell them. I want to be there so that I can help support their parents, in teaching them righteous principles.  I know how important this kind of support, from an LDS GrandParent can be.
4. I have a desire to create relationships with my grandchildren, that have the power to influence their lives for good.  I know that this is an investment of time, which is an investment that I want to make.

Sometimes these important visits with the grandchildren, are had at Nana and Papa’s house.  Other grandma visits necessitate either driving a little ways, or getting on an airplane, and traveling to another State.

My other theory for ensuring frequent visits, is the “any which way I can” theory.  I know that many other LDS GrandParents are just as committed to visiting their grandchildren as well.

Special times with grandchildren...

On this most recent trip to Texas, where I was able to spend two weeks with my daughter and her family, I took frequent opportunities to make sure that my grandchildren know, just how much I love them. I had the privilege of taking over the bedtime rituals with the grandchildren, while mom and dad were away for a few nights.  Following family prayer on the floor of the bedroom, and tucking them gently into their beds – brought about special time for telling them where they came from, who they are, and about our special eternal family.

These grandchildren knew their stuff, and I was grateful for the opportunity and blessing, to bear my testimony of these truths – taught by their own parents; that this was indeed, reality.

Now I am back home again, reflecting on these precious moments.  I exercise faith, daily – that just as my own grandmother was able to instill eternal truths and plant them deep within my heart – that I, too, will be able to do so with my own grandchildren.

As an LDS GrandParent, I am continually aware of the covenant relationship that we have with our grandchildren.  Our work, is His work…

tDMg

LdsNana

Show and Tell for Nana...

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LdsNana and Grandchildren

I just returned from a two week trip to Texas.  Originally, I was going to spend one of the weeks, completely taking over for my daughter, so that she could attend a business trip with her husband in Seattle.  A much needed break for a young couple.  I would be left with the responsibility to care for three of my grandchildren, six and under.  I was ready and willing to do this…

As the time that I would fly to Texas drew closer, my daughter decided to change her plans a bit, but still wanted me to come and help.  She had decided that she would not go on the week long trip with her husband, but instead, that they would take a few days away before he left for his business trip, alone.  There time together would be to celebrate their 7th Wedding Anniversary.

That sounded great to me.  I would still have my grandchildren for a few days, without mom and dad, but not have a week filled with “her” responsibilities. Instead, I would have more time to visit with my daughter and the grand kids, which I looked forward to very much.

In the weeks prior to my leaving, in conversations – my daughter let on that she was not feeling tip-top.  She mentioned a sinus infection as the likely  cause, of which she was often prone.  I felt bad she wasn’t feeling better, but didn’t give it much thought…

My airplane arrived in Texas as scheduled.   After claiming my baggage, I went outside to await my expected pick-up, with grandchildren in tow.  This is always a treat.  It was hot and muggy as Texas is much of the year, at least to me, a Californian.  I soon saw the white mini-van coming around the corner, and could see happy little children’s faces as they tried to see out the windows.  I waved with mutual excitement!

As soon as my daughter pulled up to the curb, I quickly opened the sliding-van-door and reached over car-seats, etc…  to give three happy grandchildren – great big hugs and kisses from Nana.  Quickly I loaded my bags into the van and we were off…

The chatter in the car was nearly frantic as you can imagine.  As I was trying to say hi to the mommy, ask her how she was feeling and tell everyone how excited I was to be in Texas, etc…  Elenna, who is barely four – blurts out “My mommy is PRENICK!”

Okay Fine!  Elenna GOT Nana’s attention! LOL  I looked at my daughter as she just shook her head and laughed out-loud with me, confirming that indeed -  Mommy is pregnant!  This was a treasured secret that waited for Nana’s arrival to be squealed!

Well, that certainly explained the health and schedule changes, didn’t it?  How wonderful, another grandchild on the way!

It was only a few weeks prior to this, that my “other” daughter found out that she too is “prenick” with her second baby.  As the discussion between my daughter and I ensued, and these adorable little grandchildren of mine expressed their joy of getting another baby – I was given another piece of the story…

Apparently, all of my daughters were fully informed with each other’s news about expecting and expected dates of arrivals.  As best these girls could figure things out between them, it seemed that their due-dates were only two days apart!

They had already engaged in the vital discussion of “who” needed Nana most?  The “other” grandmothers of these little ones, are not able to help out in this situation.  I am still not quite sure what they determined at that time?

Since then, both pregnant daughters have seen their OB/GYN – and now it looks like we may have at least two weeks between the deliveries of these newest grandchildren.

As you can imagine, both Nana and Papa are thrilled with the news.  This will bring our grandchildren total to NINE!

At this point, I am relieved that these grandchildren will most likely not share such close birth-dates.  However, I am still concerned as to how I will cover these bases and help-out in much needed ways.  These two daughters both live in different states from myself and each other.  We will all need to be creative in making sure that everyone is taken care of – and that Nana is there when most needed, for both of the grandchildren’s arrivals.

These are the delightful dilemmas that joyful grandparenting can bring about.  I look forward to suggestions from other grandparents who have had similar circumstances.  I would love for you to share how you were able to meet these challenges…

tDMg

LdsNana

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